The Art of Dramatic Living

I watched this wonderful video on TED Talks this morning and it was music to my ears, a breath of fresh air, a bundle of lovely cliches that say, “I felt good.” Elizabeth Gilbert is the author of Eat, Pray, Love and she talks about the frightening reactions she’s been getting from people since the “freakish success” of Eat, Pray, Love.

I wrote yesterday about closing my last show and the end of my streak of acting gigs. It’s a bittersweet ending. And I do feel some fear or some apprehension when I think I might not get that energy back. Finding this video today was an encouraging bit of synchronicity.

This week’s theme will be about letting go, clearing out and seeking clarity. Problem Child closed on Sunday and I have a little respite. This one felt like a real ending because I don’t have the next “gig” lined up. I’ve had a very long run of acting projects one after the other and it’s been pretty wonderful. Now … empty space/time. It’s been awhile since I’ve had the opportunity to decide what to do with my time. Hmmm?

If it weren’t for the doing of it, I wouldn’t know what I wanted to do. Aha moment this morning!

I have a confession. I plunged into this blogging project and the acting classes without a lot of forethought. When I began, I had no idea what I wanted and truth be told – the dream is still unfolding. All I know right now is that I am building something of value. Something authentic and something new.

I’m committed. I signed a lease for a studio space today. I have a key! I have a contract! This is real. I’ll be teaching acting again.

I was driving back to my office after signing the contract and there were two questions swirling around in my head.

1. Why didn’t I do this before?
2. Why was I able to do it now?

I’m doing the post-matinee opening week crash right now. Which means I’m sitting on my sofa and I’m tired and I’m all opened up emotionally because I’ve been spilling my guts on behalf of my character for a week now and pouring her heart out to the audience and hoping I can make them see her – really see her. See me as her. I think I’m gonna call this one a success.

Here it comes. Opening night! Ready or not. Final dress and tech tonight and there will be butts in the seats tomorrow.

I’ve enjoyed great luck and opportunity in the last six months. Picasso at the Lapin Agile was great fun and my character, Germaine, got to flirt, kiss all the boys, pour drinks and all manner of fun things I don’t get to do in my real life. I got kidnapped by a mummy, tied up and rescued by the hero in Venganza Azteca. I don’t want to admit to how many times in my girlish life I’ve fantasized about that scenario. 

I can’t attend a meeting without doodling. When I was in college I took a class and we were asked to hand in our notebooks at the end of the semester. The notebook was supposed to include all the notes we took during the lectures. This was long before students carried laptops and other electronic devices into class. We had three-hole-punched notebook paper and a pen.

My notes were thorough. I got an A. But the margins of my notes were covered with wild abstract doodles. I mean covered. Every page. When the professor handed back my notebook he made some comment about my doodling during class and being surprised I passed since I obviously didn’t find his lectures that entertaining.

Melissa Karnaze at The Mindful Construct has written a wonderful post on 5 Mindful Ways to Sharpen Your Creative Focus. I read the post this morning and immediately felt a sense of peace about my creative work. She’s right on when she explains how creativity is a challenge and also demanding, but when we try to ignore our creative self, the price we pay can be devastating.

I am an advocate of always having pen and paper available because, once you open the door, the creative ideas and thoughts will flow - convenient or not. Having pen and paper available is an act of openeing the door. But let’s face it, none of us would ever get any sleep or even make it through the process of showering if we were completely open and trying to capture EVERY creative idea that flows through our heads. There are times when I have thought I would have a simpler life if I just kept the door shut in order to avoid the flood. But, that way lies pain.